


When Lies Become Ill-Spoken

by TAETIONARY



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sick Character, Sick Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sickfic, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAETIONARY/pseuds/TAETIONARY
Summary: Janus is the picture of self-care, a couple of lies and innocent mistakes are thrown about in the process, but overall, he is extremely aware of his mind and body. Despite his efforts, he still ends up with a tickle in his throat. He is fine, and there is no reason for concern. Until a bother named Roman overhears of his mild plight, that is...
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

Janus had woken up that morning in his usual, everyday fashion. A quick shower, a decent human being's usual hygiene habits, a brief outfit choosing session, breakfast, and a cup of coffee to keep his sanity. A calming roll of thunder shook through his airy apartment, and a wave of relief washed over him. A storm always seemed to bring Janus a form of serenity, perfect for relaxing from the morning stress before a work day. Since he was in no rush, the male was taking his time gathering his things to leave, his head peering towards the glass door to his balcony every now and then. It was pouring, no lightning by the looks of it, but a ferocious downpour nonetheless.

The twenty-one-year-old took a deep breath, shuffling on his black colored raincoat. The beginning of his day was nearly complete; meaning he was having a good start to his overall self-care routine. He lived alone, of course, so there were few opportunities to be ridiculed by another- disregarding a certain acquaintance of his being a thorn in his side no matter his physical or mental state. But even he would usually not dare to say a word about wellness, as the nuisance known as Roman was terrible at the very idea of it. Call him selfish, but Janus would rather care about himself before anyone else. So he stuck to his pattern, scrupulously, and lived a content life so far. Stick to the schedule, stick to his satisfaction, health, and overall tranquility. That- well it would be nice, but who was he kidding? That was sounding like a Logan-esque statement. Schedules don't determine overall tranquility, and, in his humbled opinion, self care wasn't so cut and dry. He played off of instincts.

So then...why did something feel- off?

All he could gather was that he was abnormally tired. But any further investigation would have to wait until later, as the time was passing, and he didn't even want to risk being late. Lateness elevated stress levels, and he was not about to make himself miserable. Just being at work with the lot of constantly arguing band of unprofessionals he regrettably called his colleagues was enough to give himself an aneurysm- and his only relief came in the form of his own playful, totally harmless habits of being deceitful, or rather, making everyone aware that he was not going to be chummy with any of them. Perhaps that would be enough today to get himself back on track. Throwing in a pair of earbuds, grabbing a bright yellow umbrella, and lacing the buttons on his trench-style coat, the male headed out the door, only to be met with rain that was ice cold. It was the beginning of the colder months, but even he hadn't expected it to be so frigid. Quickly, his hands fumbled with the fastening strap on his umbrella and opened it up. Work wasn't far from here so it wouldn't be too tedious of a walk. Even so, Janus was mildly less amused now that he'd been thoroughly soaked. So much for his pleasant morning start. Luckily, his nearly-forgotten yellow beanie had been stashed in his pocket, safely. It was the only dry thing he had on... but he'd take what he could get.

Cold, dripping hands tapped on his phone screen, as he looked for his favorite Jazz playlist. It was hard to hear over the rain, but eventually he'd gotten the volume to a decent level, in between barely hearing a note and blowing out his eardrums. People lined the busy sidewalks, and Janus had to focus to keep pace in the crowd as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket. A slight breeze followed, sending chills up the twenty-one-year-old's spine. It really was a cold day, so it seemed. There was nothing on the news about a cold wave, however. Weathermen, they never seemed to get things right. Holding his hands up to his face, even holding his umbrella, he blew lightly on his fingers, the warm air feeling- well, warm. A part of him half wished he'd skipped work today. A blanket and another warm cup of coffee sounded heavenly right about now. Maybe a quick nap as well...

Shaking his head, he refocused. He was already walking to work, there were no take backs now. He had a job to do, and quite frankly the other members on his team most likely would not know how to function without him- especially since they were a small business. Only seven of them, in a tiny, cramped office building, trying to figure out how to start a social media outlet, one they were calling BLINDSID. They had their own roles, and a 'boss', but they were acquainted before starting the business. The details, frivolous, but they had their work cut out for them. So, as one of only seven in a company, he had to be there. To his luck, it was Friday. Soon, he'd have a free weekend to relax. Alone. Oh how he did enjoy being alone.

Before he knew it, he was standing right outside of his workplace. Janus could hear the shouts from the outside... in a heavy rain storm. That was a /totally/ reassuring sign. Holding a hand up to his temples from an already forming headache, the male contemplated whether or not his job was worth it, as he seemed to do every day. But, being paid was worth it, and that was enough of a reason for now. Sighing, he headed inside, only to find metal buckets sprawled across the floor just about everywhere as water dripped from the stained ceiling. Beautiful, so it rained indoors now.

"Look who finally decided to show up!" Roman called out, nearly falling off an old, rusted ladder while swinging around on it. Janus had to stifle his chuckling and snake-like grin creeping onto his face, though he hadn't done a very good job in hiding his amusement. The twin, however, did not seem amused, holding his hands to his hips. "You're late for being early! What gives, Monty Python? I thought you were following some 'self care' thing now. Were you and the nerd geeking out about scheduling or something?"

"Well pardon me for not being earlier than early, Your Royal Haughtiness." The twenty-one-year-old remarked, taking off his coat. Somehow, he was even more chilled with it off, even though the fabric was drenched. He placed it on the head of his desk chair, sitting down soon after. "I was enjoying the rain, and it was almost soothing enough to make me forget that I had to see you again. Truly temptatious." A clever one. "In any case, I see the rain has decided to join us for work today?"

Roman nodded, a more sullen, serious expression lining his face. "Yeah, there's leaking everywhere. It ruined a lot of our paperwork, and one of our computers met a watery grave. Don't know about you, but I think boss man's gonna call the day early. Can't work like this, you know?" A hand gestured to a small pile in the corner. A stack of papers and a laptop with a fuzzed out screen sat beside a small trash can, which looked to be filled to the brim with even more papers. The two seemed to share the same, frustrated groan underneath their breaths, prompting an awkward exchange of laughter, and then silence. "That is... unless we become pirates! Yar-Har-Har!"

"I'm surprised the city didn't order something like a weather alert for this. That rain is frigid, hopefully it clears up before we leave." Janus spoke, stretching his arms a bit. He wasn't shivering, but the feeling of the wintry water's bite still clung to his skin. It might as well have been snow on bare skin, though perhaps it was still too early. He wasn't sure if he was ready for Roman's rendition of any holiday carols yet. Pumpkin spice and scary movies were the only things he'd be accepting right now.

The other tilted his head, "I didn't think it was cold. I thought it was pretty warm actually. Muggy even. Doom and gloom-like... and speak of the devil-"

Stumbling through the doorway was a soaked Virgil, in nothing but his typical hoodie and ripped jeans. To be completely honest, he looked like a drenched rat, and from the looks of it, didn't have an umbrella. "Did you just call me the devil, or doom and gloom?" The 'rat' asked, an icy glare being shot at the other. "Actually, both of them are equally stupid." He mumbled. Janus only watched as the two began to bicker. Just listening to their squabble was doing wonderful things for his headache, which he'd been actively trying to ignore. Taking out a spare towel from his desk drawer, which of course he kept towels in, (What else would he put in there, dish gloves?) he quickly dried his own self off, before smacking an extra into Virgil's face.

"You totally /don't/ look like you've come out of a tsunami, and I would /highly/ recommend staying soaked." He smirked, coyly. So he wasn't a perfect angel when it came to his remarks, sue him. At least he wasn't the theatrical insult generator. Picking on Virgil every now and then was good for the soul, and it was all in good fun. The emo only let out an ill-tempered, "Hmph." A wonderfully crafted insult, truly stunning. But he didn't have it in him to keep his playful banter going. No, they were both in a bit of a foul mood, so Janus would let it go.

But someone else wouldn't. "UHhh, have you seen yourself, Jekyll and Lied? You aren't much better." The twin snickered, biting the bottom of his lip awkwardly. "The rain knows how to pick its targets. I should take notes. You're like Grumpy #1 and Grumpy #2 when wet."

A harsh wind blew outside, whistling through the streets as a sort of high-pitched shriek. The door flung itself open, and papers danced in the breeze all around the office, much like a twister. Both Remus and Logan had come inside to the disarray, as more, incoherent shouting came from all sides of the room. Then, just as quick as it started, the door snapped shut once more, and everything became still.

"This rain's so fuCKING CoOl." The emerald eyed twin shouted, excitedly. He practically bounced as he ran towards his desk space, chaotically energetic. As it would seem, a handful of soggy papers had lunged into one of the buckets that had been collecting water. Remus dunked his hand in, only for the documents to fall apart in his palm. "...Does this mean I can eat these papers now- hey why's the ceiling crying? Which one of you bitches made the ceiling cry?!"

Logan appeared to be on the verge of a mental breakdown. His boots sloshed with every step, as the water was beginning to collect on the floors again. "This is horrendous. We can't work in this environment. Our surviving records and equipment can't stay here either." The boss deduced, a fact that had been quite obvious to Janus, and probably everyone else, but nay- hold that tongue. It isn't worth the aggravation anymore. A bit of a lost look in his eyes, Logan turned his attention to his unofficial assistant, which just so happened to be the self care enthusiast himself. Usually the boss could come up with solutions from every angle, except this wasn't an angle involving situation, it was his inexperienced field of doing what's best for everyone's safety. The twenty-one-year-old could see in his superior's expression that he was far more worried about the drowning paperwork than the drowning of his employees- being fair, Logan had never been good at understanding people. This was one of those rare occasions where the boss turned to the underlings, even more rare, /him/.

Janus held a hand to his chin. A cold hand- icy even, compared to the warmth of his face, but that was irrelevant. A soft, 'Hmm' escaped through the male's lips as foggy thoughts ran through his head. Finally after a long pause, he spoke again. "Well, we could call a van, and take all of this," A hand gestured to the furnishings of the room, "and put it in a storage facility, temporarily. Then we can deal with our renter's obviously unsafe water leakage problem he seems to have neglected to tell us about, and he can pay for the damages."

"Damn, no swimming pool? Bummer." A certain twin pouted.

Virgil had his arms crossed, staring in disbelief. "You think our landlord is gonna pay for this?" Flinging the borrowed, dampened towel back at the 'Bananaconda', props again to the inner theater kid of the group for that nickname, he shuffled his weight uncomfortably. "You fighting with him is just gonna put us in more hot water bullshit. He's not gonna care about anything or anyone unless the building caves in."

"Actually kiddo, I think this water's mildly warm at best." A new voice from behind spoke up. They just kept coming, God help Janus if they ever needed more team members. No one had to think twice about who would be responsible for such a /delightful/ pun. To a mutual relief, there weren't any strong gusts through the door when he'd come in. "Wrong time again? Just thought it might lighten the mood a little... Hey! I brought doughnuts!" Patton beamed, sloshing through the office with a white box in hand. Luckily, the doughnuts were dry and intact. The only dry thing in the office just HAD to be fried rings of dough, instead of their notes, or thousands of dollars worth of equipment. Janus wasn't bitter.

Of course the twins were first to tackle their bright-eyed colleague. Red and green decorated pastries were fought over, but the twenty-one-year-old could only think of how it began to look like Christmas had thrown up in the box. Patton was lovingly lecturing the arguing duo- how effective that would be remains a mystery. "No shoving you two! There's just enough for everyone. Logan, Virgil, come get yours! Janus, you too!"

Logan looked hesitant, but eventually found himself munching his stress away, Virgil trailing behind, nonchalantly. If Logan needed one, well, things were definitely not looking good for their business. Certainly, this was going to leave it's impact. Did Janus want one? No. His breakfast was enough, and his own stress levels were surprisingly in their /normal/ extreme ranges of the average work day. Had he really gotten to the point of not being bothered by a makeshift water park office? He kept his mouth shut, quietly shuffling some surviving papers in his grasp. Then, he was slipping back to his own space in the room. Was he really avoiding the doughnuts, or the people holding them? Usually Virgil was the one to pull the whole avoid people card, but he didn't really- fit for the conversation dynamic today. They'd call him back when they actually wanted to do something about the ocean beneath their feet. Taking their little break with this mess... it was insulting to be entertaining.

A skillful retreat, that's all this was. Until he was better equipped to deal with their idiocy. Something WAS nagging at him, though. He noticed before he even came in this morning. For some odd reason, he really just wanted to be at home. But he couldn't gather why. Something just felt... strange, and God, could he use a second coffee today. Or better yet, tea. Mint sounded lovely right about now. Hell, maybe even vodka, being tipsy might be better than sober this one time. But alcohol at work was a downright stupid idea- especially for him. This was clearly wrong, he wasn't acting like himself. But why?

Logan had ventured into his cubicle after a few minutes of Janus's own pondering, his usual, blank-face having returned. Note to self: The boss can be returned to normal with sweets. Never had he imagined Logan to be a secret sweet-tooth. "Janus-"

Another grin etched onto the snake-like male. He folded his hands, switching back on his game. "I see someone's back to-" No, he was not up to it right now. Maybe his pestering wasn't the best idea right now. Something didn't feel right. "...You know what, nevermind. What do you need?" Janus asked, leaning back into his chair. He couldn't be suspicious. A sideways glance and casual yawn later, and he was sure he was out of the woods. Probably. Though he wasn't really having anything to hide, was he? Hmm, but was it unusual of him to NOT have something to hide? A question for another time.

An eyebrow raise, but that's as far the logician's suspicion went. Too close. "Right then, could you keep an eye out for the van coming? We need someone to flag the driver down because the sign is hard to read with the rain." Logan inquired, fiddling with his glasses, and a smudge on his lenses. Janus, however, seemed dazed, absentmindedly staring at nothing particular. So, he asked again, "Janus? Were you listening?"

That same smirk that almost never left his expression became even more prevalent. "Oh, definitely, I heard everything. Do tell me again about the part with the lion and the wardrobe, it /never/ gets old." He spoke, previously folded hands now resting below his chin. Just because he'd lost his focus for a brief, insignificant moment, does not mean he was going to just admit it. He didn't care at /all/ about his reputation. It was much more fun to watch the confusion on his boss's face anyways. "Maybe this time, add in a hint of how Narnia's society is flawed- just to make it more interesting. Maybe Roman would be willing to give you a few pointers in the world of theatrics."

Logan, however, was the hardest one to feed into his antics. The concept of obvious sarcasm either didn't phase him, or completely went above his head. It made the twenty-one-year-old unsure of his moves. But at least he got the memo this time, another unusual occurrence. "I asked if you could wait by the door for the van to arrive. I presumed such a task wouldn't be too difficult for you. Was I mistaken?"

A simple, "No," sufficed. "I'll be over in just a minute."

"Excellent. The rest of us will be trying to salvage what we can if you need us."

"Why would I need assistance..." He mumbled, resentfully. But, the sooner the rest of the group was finished hauling the remains of the office, the sooner his work day would be done, meaning the sooner his weekend started. Tea, a long bath, a bit of light reading, and most importantly, peace and quiet. It was almost in his reach. All he had to do was wait, and hope the roads weren't too flooded, because his evening depended on a random stranger in a large vehicle that was who knows how far away. 

A crash of thunder rumbled through once more, just as Janus had reached the door. Lightning illuminated the sky, painting a picture of blackened clouds, and bolts of a glowing, bright yellow. Not viciously, not ferociously- and yet people would still be afraid. Only in rare occurrences did lightning do harm. But, people would cower in fear, clinging to a loved one as they sang songs and wished for the sky to calm. Fireworks were adored, yet lightning was resented. What an absurd concept. The male leaned on the door frame, wrapping his arms around each other as he watched the sky, just as he'd done before. How he did love a good storm. It was a perfect example of his own set of philosophies.

Roughly an hour went by- still no van. Janus mumbled a plethora of curses underneath his breath. In doing so, he did not detect the green jacket-clad twin sneaking up behind him. Then, out of nowhere, a hand slapped against his back. The force was enough to send the unsuspecting beanie wearing male into a hunched over position as his eyes went wide . Dry, unpredicted coughs escaped his lungs as Remus screamed, "WHAT'CHA DOIN' JAN-JAN?"

A look that most would find terrifying settled onto Janus as he recomposed himself. Hands in a prayer-like fashion lay just above his lips as he closed his eyes, and took a deep, long breath. "Why, may I ask, was that much force necessary?" The male asked, his eyes snapping back open as soon as he was finished. His headache for the day only seemed to intensify, /lovely/. "I'm currently watching for our van to arrive, and you," he poked a finger into the other's chest, "are getting in the way of my line of vision. What do you want?"

"You wuss, I didn't hit you any harder than normal." Remus mumbled, frowning into a pouting face. "What gives? You're no fun todayyy~ you don't normally let me hit you anyways! You always catch me! Why didn't you catch meee?" His cheeks puffed out, offendedly playing with thumbs. "And you're doing that, 'stare out a window forlornly' thing again. It's disgusting- and not in the good way."

...If there was one person Janus did not loathe entirely, it was Remus. Virgil as well, but only on certain days. Remus was abhorrently inappropriate in every possible scenario, but he was a good listener, despite an otherwise five second attention span. He would also be the person to call about murder, that had to come in handy someday. Still, if he didn't know what was wrong, it'd sound really stupid talking about his, err, 'feelings'. In the way that Logan was logically gifted yet inexperienced in people, he was gifted in deception and self-care, and horribly bad at honesty, especially in the feelings department. He could /totally/ deal with his own problems himself... What was going on again? Oh, yes, him. "I don't know what you mean, Remus. Am I not allowed to act as I please?" The twenty-one year old questioned.

Before the twin could answer, Janus had peered outside, only to see a large black van with bright lights looking lost. Without time to don his raincoat or take his umbrella, he stumbled out the door. This time, not only was the rain cold, but it hurt. It was like being pelted with tiny bits of hail. That was odd. Eventually, after the driver went around the block once or twice, he saw a yellow beanie and a hand flagging him down. Just like construction vests were extremely visible for a reason, it seemed the golden-eyed male's hat had acted as a sort of a visibility marker. Just another perk to his secret hat obsession, so it seemed. Although, even his precious head covering was now sopping up the water.

Everyone else came out soon after, with anything from chairs, to computers, to even cork boards. Janus had pitched in, only because he wanted to leave, of course. But he was struggling- to the point where Virgil was lifting heavier things. Luckily, it didn't take long to get everything inside the van. There were seven of them, so they did have a lot of hands. On the trips back inside, he had grabbed his coat and umbrella, so the standing around in the frigid rain was slightly more bearable. Now, all he had to do is wait for Logan to recap on the plan, and he'd be free. It was a relief in multiple ways- things were starting to hurt, it was cold, his headache wasn't giving him a break, and he just generally was over today. It was only about 11 AM, and that did not matter one bit. He needed a break, that was probably what was making him feel weird. Accidentally overworked- happened to everyone from time to time. Do better next time.

Logan had once again come out from the building, and quickly fumbled with the keys to lock everything up. He hopped in the van beside the driver, but kept the door ajar. "There are two extra seats- Janus, Patton, would you mind coming along? It will be more tedious of a task to have less assistance, but three is greater than one, and we need to get everything moved by 5 PM."

Of course he'd be part of the unlucky to be dragged along. What happened to his normal elevated stress levels again? They were beginning to boil past normalcy. He watched as Patton leapt into the vehicle, before being offered a hand. Janus rolled his eyes, hesitantly taking the offer, "I'm not thanking you or anything." The beanie-wearing male reminded, eyebrows furrowing to show his displeasure. Not only was his early-home plans shot, he was sitting in the backseat. Who does that? Who confines their employees to the dreaded backseat?

"Aw! You're welcome kiddo!" The dad-like figure beamed, sliding into the seat beside him, and pulling a seat belt across his torso. "And hey! Chin up! This will be a fun experience!" Without another word, Patton was reaching into a backpack he'd brought, then, a white box. "I even brought your doughnut! In case you get hungry later! You forgot to eat it. You know, doughnuts are good for the soul. When I was little, I used to-"

Just like that, they were driving off. Goodbye office, goodbye freedom, goodbye sanity. A long, exasperated groan could be heard through the whole city at that moment...

It took them until roughly 4:45 in the afternoon to finish up. They had a lunch break, sure, but Janus was absolutely exhausted. Just standing felt like he was being pinned against all the gravity known to man. The relief of arriving back at his apartment was unlike any he'd felt before. No goodbyes were exchanged among the trio, not even second glances. Patton was dozing off, Logan was speaking with the driver, and him? He did not care, nor had the energy too. The door was shut, the deed was done, and he was released from the curse of the day. Perhaps this weekend would be a good time to look into a vacation. Assuming the team could somehow survive without his presence. Might as well schedule something for: Never.

The first thing he did upon stumbling inside was setting a bath. He'd been chilled to the bone. Despite his efforts, Janus just couldn't seem to get the water warm enough. Coming back out of the tub was even more torturous. It was double freezing. After drying himself off, he changed into the warmest pajamas he owned- a fleece lined, long sleeved black shirt and fuzzy yellow pants. Next came the tea. Mint was his craving today. He set his kettle to heat, grabbed a tea bag from his small collection, and searched for a few mint leaves off a plant he'd kept by the windowsill. After all of that, finally, he sat upon his sofa, in peace.

A yawn forced itself out of his mildly raw throat- a side effect from the yelling of the morning no doubt. The warmth from his drink did seem to soothe him, and now, a nap seemed fitting. But he'd need an extra blanket... or two. Better yet, instead of napping on the couch, he could curl up in his bed. Thin blankets were insignificant compared to a quality comforter, and a mattress. Janus couldn't sleep long, though. Two hours at most if he didn't want to wake up at 2 AM. Two hours. An alarm was set, a snake was buried and bundled, and he was out cold with not a moment to spare.

-

When he woke up, he had many, many questions, ones that could be simplified into three general all-encompassing categories. The first being: Why did his clock read 10:00 AM? The second being: Why did he feel like shit? The third being: How, simply, how? His body shook, ached, his voice was strained, congestion was giving him the worst headache imaginable, and it felt as though he couldn't take a single breath in without harsh coughs taking over his pained lungs. He thought he'd done everything to keep himself in good condition. So then, how? How did it happen so fast? He didn't even think it was a possibility- how? He knew everything about everyone. That normally included himself. Why was his body betraying him?

...Perhaps his questions couldn't be simplified. The fact was... he was... mildly unwell, or so it seemed. Mildly, /definitely/ mildly. No big deal. It was Saturday now. He needn't call off work, and he'd totally be alright by Monday. No one would have to know, and his weekend of relaxation would proceed the same. The only difference being, he wouldn't enjoy any of it. Which was just fine. Not a damper on anything. Everything was fine. Slowly, his wobbly legs swung over the side of his mattress, touching down on the hard floor. As soon as the covers were off, goosebumps lined his arms. The air was glacial, at least to him. Janus hunched over as his lungs attacked once more. He hadn't even made it off his bed yet. But it was fine. He just needed a minute, or three. Taking short, quick breaths, he seemed to finally calm down. Alright, that was enough, he had to see the damage. There was a bathroom the next room over. He could make it. One leg in front of the other. The dizziness would subside in a few seconds. The statí̷͓c̴̱̭ would tỡ̶̪̠̰̕ơ̷̹̱̘? Ṉ̶͊ó̴͘ͅ.̷̧̘̮̋̽.̸̣̈́̕.̸͒͝ͅ ̴̛͈̮S̵̜͛͆ȋ̵̝͈͝t̷̙͑͝.̶̹̲̦͛́.̶̲͗̓͝ͅ.̵̙̿͐ ̶̻̍b̵̙̰̍-̴̮͕̂͠b̴̹̜̃͗̚ä̴̡͚́̕c̸͍͙̺̎̚k̸̨͔̞̄͒ ̶̢̩̞̔̌͆d̸̻̗̆̾o̶̫͌w̵̒̔͜n̷̬͂̃.

A few seconds- his eyes were closed the whole time, but it felt horrible. He found himself hesitating to open them again. No fainting, not entirely at least, but it was an awfully close call. Maybe he'd just lay down a bit longer. He was going too fast- and apparently slept through dinner. That was a long time going without food and water. He needed to be careful. Audibly sighing, he turned towards his nightstand. The notification light was flashing on his phone. Perfect. Who was bothering him now? 

ᴺᵉʷ ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˢ

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Aha! It worked! 

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] What is this?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] A group chat! Was that not obvious?

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] No, it was not.

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] HI NERDY WOLVERINE

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I'd like to be removed immediately.

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] TOO LATE I HAVE YOUR NUMBER NOW

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Roman, you are figuratively dead to me

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] CAN WE MAKE IT LITERAL

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] why am i being spammed

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oooh! This is a nifty little chat! What's going on? 

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] HeLlO there Padre, Jack Smellington. This is going to be our group chat! I thought we could use it! For stuff!

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] May I ask what you mean by stuff?

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] memes

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Words of encouragement!

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] MURDER

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Hmm?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] I was thinking something along the lines of sending my 3 AM renditions of Disney songs to all of you at once, but I suppose we could do that stuff too.

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] HE CONDONES THE MURDER TIME BRING ME MY BLOWTORCH PEASANTS

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] NO

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] NO... Thank you.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I would refrain from such.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] NOT with MY DNA in you! I'm NOT getting framed for your murder!

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] everyone knows thats not how that works

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] And just how many people have you framed for murder Virgil?

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] 17

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] WHAT?!

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] WITHOUT ME

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] An impressive count- if it were true, that is.

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] YOU CANT KILL ANYONE WITHOUT ME AND JAN-JAN

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] noted

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Where IS the Reptilian Rapscallion? I invited him to the group.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] I bet he's doing some neat-o self care stuff!

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Or, he's ignoring the chat altogether. I would have been doing the same had I been paying more attention.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh! Don't say that! You wouldn't ignore your friends! I'm sure Janus isn't either.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] The poor kiddo was tuckered out by the time we finished up yesterday. He's probably sleeping.

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] MAYBE IF WE SPAM HIM HE'LL WAKE UP

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Dibs on sending voice notes!

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] NO. If he's resting, he needs it. ^_^

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] You do all realize that this conversation is already enough texts sent to awake a sleeping person if said person's notifications are on, correct?

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] he's gonna kill us all

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh no! Everyone stop talking!

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] no

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] u

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] You two! You're literally in the same house! Why don't you talk to each other in person?

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] ppl still do that ???

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Janus! We're so sorry if we're bothering you!

-

...Huh? What were they going on about? Group chat, friends, murder, Janus- him? Why were they discussing him? Did he do something wrong? His thumbs slowly hit the screen at a sort of rhythmic pace. 

-

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] What

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] JAN-JAN

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] o shit he's alive

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Have a nice beauty rest, Aurora-Impersonator?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] No

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh! We're so sorry kiddo!

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] No we aren't???

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Was there a specific reason as to why your sleep was unpleasant?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘 is typing...]

. . .

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Yellow? Bananaconda? 

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] PUN

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] No. Why?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Late much? And what's with the one word answers? You do know how to use a phone right?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Oh, I'm far too inexperienced in the field of technology and socialization to be operating this magical box device- let alone be a part of a social media development team. 

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] snake's goin off, watch out

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh- kiddo-

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Wow, okay, defensive much? Sorry we interrupted your nap time... Scrooge

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Roman

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] You didn't. I didn't even hear my notifications until now. 

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] theN wHy- you're taking it out on me!!

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I have to agree here. 

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] JAN-JAN IS SO COLD TODAY THATS HOT

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] wh- 

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Apologies.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Sounds like your problem.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] gaH! How dare you be so mean today!!! Sarcasm is for hurling at Scooby-Doo villains, not handsome Princes! 

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] THIS IS THE BEST CONVERSATION EVER

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Right then, are you two going to continue your little squabble? I need to call our landlord.

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] No. Go ahead.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Surrendering I see? A wise decision, for none can match my brilliance and chivalry!

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Did he really just leave like that

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Hello?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] I see how it is... Snake & Co. 

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Roman, quiet. I don't want my phone buzzing throughout the call. 

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] OH right! 

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Sorry

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Quiet timeY- why don't you people just turn off your notifications!?!?

Peace... and quiet. Maybe he should go back to bed. Then again, severe dehydration would certainly make this whole ordeal so much /better/. Hands clung to his bed sheets as the male tried getting up again. Well, he wasn't as dizzy this time, that was a good sign. Unsteady feet trudged out the door, into the hallway, and then, the bathroom. Small cups sat atop the sink, and it wasn't long before Janus was snatching one from the stack, filling it with cold water. Most of the time, he'd question the water quality before drinking, but today was a rare exception. Chugging the drink only provided a split second of relief, before the feeling of rawness in his throat intensified, harshly. Maybe he just needed more. Another glass later, same result. Well, drinking water like he was an alcoholic was obviously not helping. At least he didn't feel like a dried prune. Golden-toned eyes hesitantly traveled up to the mirror hanging on the wall. Oh- he was sure he wasn't looking at a deceased version of himself, right? He groaned, loudly, almost as if he was offended. Strands of hair were sitting in an all sorts of boy-bandish, wavy, unkempt mess. He was pale, ghastly white. Dark circles hung on his face, and the faintest bit of color remained on his cheeks, in a pink undertone flush.

No matter, he'd live. A simple cold wasn't a cause for concern. He was excellent at caring for himself, and that wasn't sarcasm. He was hydrated, that was a start. What else did he need? Not food- the thought of it was nauseating. A few more blankets. A few sweaters. Medicine? Actually, another nap sounded like a great idea. He was shaking, whether it was from the lack of energy... or, maybe he had a fever? Probably not. He hadn't been feverish since childhood. Adults were less prone to them, according to Logan. Still, it didn't hurt to check. Just to be sure he didn't actually need to be worried. Reaching for the medicine cabinet, various things nearly fell off the shelves as his hand accidentally smacked the side. The only thermometer he had was- pink, but it'd do the job. Janus quietly popped it in, before leaving for the living room, specifically, the couch. The couch that was the closest thing to face-plant onto.

As soon as he was seated again, the walk had taken a good minute or two, his phone began vibrating, this time, without end. A call? Typically, he didn't get many, his number was kept pretty exclusive to obtain. Without even realizing it, he was taking out the beeping thermometer, not bothering to look at it just yet, and hitting the 'Answer' button. "Hello..?" His gravelly voice spoke, nonchalantly. Wait- what was he doing? He /wasn't/ answering this call like this. Oh, but then why was it sinking in? Was this what social insecurity felt like? He could NOT handle being his usual self right now. Who was he even talking to? A spam caller? 

"HI JAN-JAN!"

Oh, good. He wouldn't say shit.

"GIVE me back my phone you fiendish feral freak! Hello? Janus?"

And his luck had run out. "Please leave a message after the beep." Janus sighed, bringing a hand up to his temples. He knew exactly why the twin was calling, and it was surely ridiculous. Roman's pride was wounded from their discussion, he wanted a rematch- and likely everyone else wasn't giving him the attention he so desired. Patton might have tried, but only after a lecture on 'name calling'. Any other day, and this would have been amusing. But he wasn't about to get in a verbal debate now. He'd lose both his composure and his mind in less than one minute. While impressive, he was having a shitty day, so a rain check would have to do.

A heavy laugh came from the other side of the line. "Nice try, Pants-On-Fire. There was no beep! Try harder!" Roman bellowed, a sound that was rough on the other's headache. Still, he couldn't help but crack a smile. Then, the twin grew quiet. Suspiciously so. It was music to the twenty-one-year-old's ears. This never happened, not since the day they met. "...Okay, now there's beeping. What is that? Burning down your house? Or are you burning away your shame from my brilliance?"

"Listen," Janus began, slowly, "there USUALLY isn't supposed to be beeping. That's the point. I'm asking you to leave me alone." His words were almost regretful, he was giving up his golden opportunity for the day. The answer given didn't seem to satisfy the theater-obsessed colleague, unfortunately, who could be heard dramatically gasping. The twenty-one-year-old clicked his tongue, bitterly, "I know, I know. Wanting to be left alone? Shocking. It /can't/ be true." 

"Why you- taking out your grumpiness on me and then running away. Remus says thank you by the... Hey! Stop listening! How did you even hack our call?!" 

"Your welcome." Janus hummed, switching his phone's placement to his other ear. A blanket was waiting for him near his feet, and he was about two seconds from swaddling himself like a newborn. He had to finish this up. Sleep was about ready to take over. "Now, if you two don't mind, I am going to-" He stopped. A tickle in his throat, and then, harsh, lung-destroying coughs were cutting off his sentence. Relentless, painful coughs of the worst kind, taking over his body. The phone went silent, as he wished for them to please stop. Please. The pain was awful this time. Thirty seconds went by, thirty seconds before he could breathe again. Then, a rush of air. He was still on the call, right. What was he saying?

"...Oooh. Oh. Okay. That's why. I knew you sounded like... But you said you slept bad! You! You two faced liar!" A hint of remaining anger laced the prince-like male's voice as it seemed Janus had slipped up. "Why didn't you say something? Were you going to hang up and never tell anyone you're sick? No offense, Jack the Fibber, but you sound like you lost your voice after a dramatic power belt on stage, and then inhaled a bag of prop glitter."

A wonderful comparison, he surely did not sound like that. The golden-eyed male instinctively crossed his arms, "I have no idea what you are talking about." Deciding to give into his blanket desires, he shuffled forwards, a bit dizzy, and switched his sitting position to the opposite end of the couch. The blanket was thin, but it was better than nothing. He'd probably be dozing off if it weren't for a certain nosey brunette. "I believe you meant 'mildly indisposed', why WOULD I tell any of you? It's not a cause for concern."

"Sure. Whatever. Don't tell your friends. You never told me what that beeping was." Roman pestered, at least that was normal. Beeping? Oh, right, thermometer. There, maybe that would make him finally stop nagging and hang up. Convenient how the dramatic one was ignoring the fact that sick people needed to rest and insisting on talking.

Janus picked up the thermometer, rolling his eyes. "Thermometer." He croaked out. The number was hard to read in the low light, perhaps the screen was solar powered. A stretched out hand reached across to the coffee table to switch on a nearby lamp, before he sat back down, somewhat out of breath. "Now, I would be honored to keep playing this little pity game, but I have better things to be doing." At least, he would, if 103.4° F was not blaring in his face.

The typical liar couldn't stop himself from cursing out a muffled, "Shit." That wasn't great. That wasn't great at all. Colds don't usually prompt fever, especially for someone his age. What was going on? He was fine yesterday. Mostly fine at least. How did things escalate so fast? What was he supposed to do? What was his next move?

"What? Is your thermometer broken?" 

"No- it's none of your business. Go bother someone else."

Roman had clearly known something was up, or at least that's what he claimed. The fact the snake was actually saying things he normally wouldn't out loud was a red flag. The fact he picked up the phone was a red flag. The coughing was a red flag. How many flags did he need? Three? It didn't matter, he was drawing the line. This was too much... There was only one thing to do. "I'm coming over. I need to be sure you aren't dying. I'll be there soon. Open your door or else I'm asking Remus to tell me where your spare key is."

No, please, anything but that. "No, no you're not." The male hissed, now growing irritated. His headache only seemed to grow worse, and his eyes were heavier than before. Couldn't he catch a break here? Just for a moment? "If you break into my house, I'm calling the police on you, don't think I won't." 

The call had ended, apparently. Honestly, did Roman listen to anyone? Ever? He was fine, even if he had a high fever. Janus could take care of himself. He didn't need any nursing or babying from any of those 'friends', and especially not Roman! The very thought of being mocked all day, in song probably, sent more shivers down his spine than any fever could. How could he get out of this? Did it have anything to do with napping? Or... his phone buzzing, again? Was this some kind of curse?

ᴺᵉʷ ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˢ

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] GUYS

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] I WAS LISTENING THE WHOLE THING IT'S TRUE

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] What are you going on about now? Both of you?

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] the fuck

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Language +_+

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] the fudge

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] JANUS IS A LIAR

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] been knew

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] NO I MEAN HEWAS PISSY THIS MORNING BECAUSE HE'S SICK AF

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Talk about me like I'm not here after you hung up on me.

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] I don't know what you're talking about either. Are you sure you aren't hallucinating?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] AM NOT, STOP TALKING AND TAKE A NAP

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] wait, janus??? i don't know who to believe

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] ROMAN'S TELLING THE TRUTH NOT THAT I CARE BUT I WAS STALKING THEIR CALL

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I had my suspicions.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Janus! You weren't going to tell us? :( I thought we were FamILY

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] I don't see the point in projecting a mild inconvenience for you all. I have everything handled.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] ...Alright, mind telling me what that thermometer said

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Oh, but then this would be much less /fun/.

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] janus you dumbass

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] LANGUAGE

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh my- should I come over Janus?!

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] No need Padre! I'm already on my way! 

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] you? instead of pop-star? or Logan?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Patton has his volunteering thing today. Logan is clearly trying to make sure we don't go bankrupt. Remus would probably kill the snake. You would overreact in a heartbeat. Hence why I'm going! He's not gonna tell us willingly if he needs a hero for a while, so I'm going to make sure myself!

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] No, you are not. I will charge you with breaking and entering.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] So when it's convenient to know the law, it's alright. But when it's inconvenient for you, society is flawed and doing more harm than good?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Do. Not. Come. Here.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Why? Scared I'm going to catch the plague?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Yes, totally, it has nothing to do with the fact that you're annoying.

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] RECORD SCRATCH 

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] I LIKE THIS CRANKY JAN-JAN

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] You may be incapacitated, Janus. You also need to be monitored for complications. I wouldn't have Roman as my first pick, but he does have an incredibly strong immune system.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] RUDE but you also called me strong. You can be redeemed.I can be an excellent caretaker if needed

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] so he's not gonna die

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Not on this prince's watch! And this is why you aren't going, Hot Topic!

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] I'm so worried... we made him do all that work yesterday.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] And kept him out in the rain, yes.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] DDD:

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] gonna start planning the funeral. want to start on a will janus?

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Janus?

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] He probably fell asleep. Roman, are you sure you can handle this alone?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] I've got it all under control! Heading over there now. Bail me out if he sends me to jail?

[ＲＡＩＮＦＩＲＥＦＲＯＭＡＢＯＶＥ] no

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] fair enough

-

Something about sleeping was unsatisfying. He wasn't feeling any different... he didn't even remember dozing off. So it wasn't a bad dream. How much time had passed? Could he just go back to sleep? Janus huffed, frustratedly rolling over from being nuzzled into the couch to now face the rest of the room. Was the door handle... moving? Still blurred eyes squinted, just to be sure he wasn't hallucinating. The sound of keys jingling was reassuring, in a weird way. That reassurance died the moment HE walked through the door, bags in hand, with his classic charming smile. "And where is today's damsel in distress?" Roman called, the sound echoing off the walls, amplifying in the 'damsel's' head.

Janus was not happy, not at all. With what little strength he possessed, he threw a pillow right in the other's face, though, it only made it to his feet. "Get out of my house. I did not invite you." He rasped, a glare of deadly proportions being shot towards the trespasser. The creative-inclined twin only stood there, stubbornly, his smile falling flat. "I'm serious. You are wasting both of our time- at least close the door. It's cold in here."

Roman walked closer, setting his bags on the coffee table. "It's eighty degrees in here." He spoke, crouching down to meet the twenty-one-year-old face to face. "You look like shit. Except for the fact that you've been hiding your boy-band hair under your beanie everyday. That looks nice, Lying-Lowlife." Curiosity took over his attention as he looked around the room. Perhaps he'd been wrong about the lowlife bit. "I stand corrected. How did YOU afford such a nice place?"

"Leave." Janus snapped, eyebrows furrowing at the small talk.

The other tapped lightly on his cheek, humming, "And you say I have no patience. Are you in any hurry to go back to sulking? I don't remember one of the seven dwarfs being Mopey." Then, a hand was brought to the ill-tempered male's forehead. Dark colored bangs were gently brushed away as Roman investigated. His eyes widened at the sudden, intense warmth. "I can't even believe you. You're burning up. How high? Where is your thermometer?"

"Forgot and it's old so I don't trust it." 

Why did he even ask. Rolling his eyes, he turned around "I had a feeling you'd say something along those lines, Jack the Fibber." He teased, reaching into one of the bags and pulling something out. "Aha!" Roman exclaimed, before getting a better look at the mystery item, and shoving it back where it came from. "Oops. That's my new eyelash curler... this!" Another item was pulled from the bag, this one in a plastic package. Such a bad thing for the environment, and, a bad thing for the sickly, pajama adorned other. Lo and behold, it was a brand new thermometer. At least it wasn't pink.

"Open wide, Jan-Jan!" Roman smirked, oh, was he having fun. It was humiliating, degrading, and overall shameful. Janus was being mortified, slowly. He had his house broken into, and was being treated like he was helpless. He was fine, why did no one seem to understand that concept? For the second time today, he was having a temperature device being shoved into his mouth. It was probably way less high than his dusty old one made it out to be.

"You and Remus are the only ssssickening things to me." Janus hissed, half because he had the thermometer in, half because he was spiteful. Mostly because he was spiteful. He wasn't one to pout, but to be shushed immediately after was enough to make him scowl. Especially since the brother was using his more tolerated colleague's nickname. Quite a bit of silence passed between them before he was speaking again. "Only Remus can call me that, ssssorry you aren't being given that privilege, knockoff twin." He rasped out, the corners of his lips lifting just enough to be called a smile.

"STOP TALKING BANAN- Oh." The theatrical male cut himself off mid-sentence, as the screen began to flash. Without warning, he ripped the thing away from Janus before any beeping began. He couldn't quite see, but the blanket-wrapped twenty-one-year-old thought he saw Roman bite his lip. That was great. "Oookay. Okay. Alright." he started, "You're gonna hate me, but there's no way I'm leaving you, Mr. A Hundred and Three Point Eight Degrees."

So it got higher. He wasn't an idiot, he remembered his first reading. But he HAD a shrivel of hope that the other would just back off. He wasn't dying, a high fever meant nothing. That would be impossible to get through Roman's thick skull, however. "You're /not/ going to hate me, but is this your way of calling me attractive, Roman?" The golden-eyed male poked at, expecting his words to come out much more sarcastic, but instead, they sounded harsh. Defeated, this was it, wasn't it? Roman wasn't leaving anytime soon, he physically couldn't kick him out, and now he was disgustingly concerned. A huff escaped his lips and, vexedly, Janus was turning back towards the couch, avoiding eye contact.

"You! You can't just- and then- ugh! I loathe you!"

'I loathed you first!"

-

It had been some time, about an hour or two since the nuisance's arrival. It seemed like all he had done for Janus was slap him in the face with a wet cloth, changing it every fifteen minutes or so, and stare at him. The only thing he was appreciating from Roman was the fact that he was being quiet. Not another word had been exchanged between them. The only noise was his own occasional hacking, and the creaking of the floorboards when the royal pain came closer to make sure he was still breathing. This was the routine, and it hadn't been /too/ terrible. Still, it'd be a much better situation if he could fall back asleep. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep anymore. There was probably a limit to this sleep amount thing. He was more than well rested. So why did he feel like SHIT?

Without meaning to, he groaned as he shifted positions. Just moving hurt, and he couldn't keep his pain quiet. Roman was up again, heading to make sure he wasn't dying, an unidentifiable look on his face. "What's up, Lying-in-Bed?" He asked, sitting at Janus's feet. "Need me to fluff your pillow?"

"Can't sleep. I'm fine." The twenty-one-year-old huffed. His eyes closed just for the two second relief of having the light being blocked out, but after those two seconds, it didn't matter. He was just an idiot with his stinging eyes closed. He lifted his head up, and maneuvered into a sort of sitting up position. "Everything hurts, I sound and look like a zombie, my lungs and throat are on fire, and I'm freezing, but fine. Also, this is a couch, not a bed." Janus mumbled, holding his head up with his hand. He felt annoyingly drained, to the point where he was more dazed than anything else on the emotion spectrum.

Roman laughed, but not maliciously. He took on more of an understanding demeanor. "Finally settling into the 'being sick' role I see. You know, you're lying to yourself the most here." He reached over the couch, fluffing the other's pillow for him. Just in case. "As an acting character, you really are the stubborn type. But jeez, let the character development come already Jan. Just take a break from your whole, 'Slimey Evil Snake' thing for a while. The world won't end if you have a little help today."

...Where did that come from? Janus stayed silent, his jaw slightly agape, as if he planned on saying something. He did not, there was nothing to say. Roman wouldn't understand. Coughs broke the silence, though, the heavy kind. The dry, burning, keeling over kind. The being helpless until they stopped type. His hands clasped on his mouth, almost defensively. Roman seemed startled, and he was in so much pain. "Hey... Hey... Just let them out. It'll be over soon." The caretaker soothed, hesitantly putting a hand on Janus's back, rubbing in small circles. What this did, he didn't know, but it happened in movies, so it had to do something.

When the attack stopped, tears pricked at the male's eyes. He wasn't frustrated, not sad, not break out into sob worthy. It was just like a reflex. Janus wiped them away, blank-faced. More silence was following the duo, especially after the sight of tears. Even if he wanted to speak, his throat felt like it was shot, so that was a hit or miss. Then, Roman had perked up again. "Hey! It's lunchtime! Are you hungry?" 

Janus shook his head. Nausea? Maybe not quite, he was fine when food wasn't being mentioned. But if someone put even a cracker in front of him, he was sure the pain would only get worse. Thank God he was relatively sure he would not be losing whatever was still inside of him from the day prior. That would be the end of him. Roman, however, seemed to have an idea. Like he knew this would happen, and that was concerning enough. "I can fix that! I have a secret weapon." He claimed, proudly. The couch-bound male tilted his head, a look of 'I don't like this' in his gaze. "To the kitchen!" 

Roman had excitedly run ahead of him, before popping his head back in the room. "Uhh... which way is the kitchen?" He asked, sheepishly. Janus smiled, weakly sitting up. Without much warning, he was on his feet. His steps were slow, strategic, and short-lived. The darkness was clouding around the room again. Was everything gettin̸͖͑͝͠g̸̤̫̗̗̏͝ ̶̜͕̀̾l̷͇̪̈́̾ï̶̡̫̞̊̒ǵ̷̡̺̲̟̍̽h̴̬̯͉̽t̵̢̫̣̼̃e̸͖͇͘̚͝͠r̸̼͖̠͗ͅ?̶̙̻̓͐̈̏͜ ̶̤̯̿Ọ̴̙̔͊r̸̨̼͔̘̈́ ̵̻̃̾͌w̴̨̛̙͕̺̾̌ḁ̸̝̍s̵͔̝͋̂ ̴̬̆͊̆į̷̥̯̻͌̓t̴̳̦͋̏ ̷̛̤̃̈́j̷̘̗̈͛ù̷͉̰̣͋̃́s̷̛͈̰͍̤̋̑t̴̯͎̗̒̃̑͝.̸͔̼̽.̶̢̝͎̲͒͆.̴̙̓̈̏̔I̸̞͊̏t̵̝̬̣͠ ̴̯͖̞͋͒f̷͙̘̬̱̈́̂͝e̶̙̭̘͒̍l̴̛͖͎̬͗̿t̴̘͋ ̷̛̙̇͘ś̴̜͋ȍ̷̱̣́͒ ̴̨͊̍̕n̵̡̙͈͒̎ͅi̴̮̙̣͇͗͑̀c̵͉̠̱̲͊͐e̶̙̗͖̻̾ ̵̨͕̬͓͐͝b̴̪̯̊u̷̼̣͋͝t̴̡͉͑.̷͔͈̏͝͝.̷̞̣̣̈́͋̒̈́.̸̘̒̓͒ ̶̲̒h̵̙̅͠ḙ̶͋̋͂ ̶͕͕̄̚w̶̘̯̓á̶̙͓̖s̷̛͈̜̿̂̕n̴̖͌̌̅'̶̭̼̃ͅt̷̨͕̲̜̀̈̊͋ ̸̝́̈ͅt̶̪͑h̶̜͌e̷r̴e̶ y̷e̵t.T̵h̶e̷ ̵l̸i̶g̷h̷t̴ w̵as coming back again. Where was he again? Who was he leaning on? They were warm... 

**"-nus... J... us... Janus! Can you hear me?"**

𝙴𝚡𝚒𝚝 ⌫ 


	2. When Ill-Spoken Becomes Ill-Advised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀
> 
> 𝖴𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝖢𝖺𝗋𝖾/𝖧𝗈𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗍𝖺𝗅 𝖲𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀
> 
> 𝖭𝖾𝖾𝖽𝗅𝖾𝗌/𝖨𝖵𝗌  
> 

He was being held. Not just held- carried, bridal style. A thin blanket was draped delicately over his shoulders. He was freezing still, and his carrier's arms were equally as cold. Why was he being whisked away by someone so frigid? Janus couldn't understand it. He didn't want to. It was time to go to sleep, it didn't matter what was going on. The black was warm, inviting even. But he kept fading from it, in and out, like the dimming of light, or when the clouds blocked out the sun for a few seconds before the glow came flashing back with intensity. It hurt, why did everything start to hurt? Something was happening, wasn't it?

The first thing he saw was the sky. It was white, fluffy even. Small, white flakes danced around above. Twirling. A shaky hand perked up to touch one of the snowflakes, but it was too hard. His arm was heavy. Yes, so very heavy. He'd have to just watch. The sounds of the nearby world were quiet, but the breathing of someone else was crisp and clear. He could feel their chest rising. Not fast, not frantic, but whoever was holding him was breathing deeply. It was honestly quite soothing. Then, his light was blocked out again, this time by the outline of a head staring down at him. "Janus?"

Oh, so this was happening.

He flinched, eyes blinking about a thousand times as his senses rushed back to him. "Why the- Wait are we outside?" The blanket-wrapped male asked, his head circling. Remains of dizziness did not appreciate it, nor did his now aching neck... and aching everything else. So this was how it was going to be, wonderful. He fainted, Janus was relatively sure of that. There was no way he would willingly give consent to becoming a blanket-burrito being carried like a princess out of the comfort of his home into white shit. It was early for snow, and it was definitely not appreciated.

"...Did I interrupt your view of the first snow of the season? Nice, isn't it?" Roman spoke, almost uncharacteristically. Nervously, perhaps. Janus could see the awkward way the twin was biting his lower lip. Concern, that was it. It was a terrible look on him. It stung, in an unusual way. His mind pleaded the other would stop looking at him like that. Then, the twin's head lifted back up, and the snowy view returned. But not without another disruption of his peace. "We're going to Urgent Care. You don't have a choice."

Janus scoffed, crossing his arms. "That's overkill. First, you invade my house, and now you're kidnapping me." He lifted his own head off the other's arm. "I'm fine, put me down already, it's fucking cold out here." 

Roman raised an eyebrow, otherwise expressionless as he nodded. "Okay."

A door was opened, and before the other could protest any further, he was being set down in the back seat of what he assumed to be the twin's car. Denied shotgun twice in a row, now that was low. He immediately sat upright, again, not the best decision considering he had just regained consciousness, but the car stopped spinning again after a few seconds. Roman slid into the passenger seat, and couldn't help but turn around to smirk, saying, "Now don't look like that, I did what you asked. I put you down, it's warmer in here, and we're still going to Urgent Care. It's a win for everyone."

"You could've at least let me sit up front with you. Being condemned to the back seat is-" A few, short coughs cut him off. He almost forgot how much those hurt. "-a bitch m-move." The golden-eyed male croaked out, glaring. "And last I checked, you're in the wrong seat. We aren't British, the driver's side is left. Clearly /I'm/ the one who should be going to Urgent Care when you're the one who needs their head checked."

"So you want my brother to crush me Jan-Jan?!" Someone exclaimed- before another head poked its way from the front seat. Ah, so Thing 1 and 2 were both here now. "Didn't expect you to be into that kind of fanfiction. Sorry to break it to you, but I will not be crushing Wonderboy over here. I'm here to be the enslaved driver because Roman got here on his motorcycle like a dumbass and didn't want you dangling off the side so I had to bring the car. Dangling sounds like way more fun, but I took pity on your diseased self. You're welcome."

"I knew I should've called Logan..." Roman mumbled, pulling out his phone for directions. Then, he turned up the volume, so much so, that the assistant practically screamed out to turn right. Janus couldn't help but wince, now THAT hurt to hear. The passenger seated sibling sighed, ever so slightly guilty. "If you even think about ignoring the GPS I'll bury you, Remus. And as for you," he handed Janus his phone, "lay back down and keep yourself occupied. I know most people swoon upon seeing me, but unconscious damsel is not what we're aiming for today, shifty sickling."

...That self-centered, obnoxious, spoiled little-

Oh what good would it do? He was trapped. 'Helpless' to everyone else, which was worse than any lie he had ever told. He was perfectly well-positioned to take care of himself. But one twin was bad enough, two who both agreed on something was a force to be reckoned with. So, he didn't try to fight back. Maybe after bothering some poor doctor for whatever reason, he'd be left alone. 

ᴺᵉʷ ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˢ

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Hey kiddos! I'm on break, how's everything going?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] I'm being kidnapped by two identical imbeciles

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] HUH

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh, the twins? :0

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] /I/ am making sure the snake doesn't die. Remus is our chauffeur

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Where, might I ask, are you all going?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Urgent Care. Mister "I'm fine and so classy I don't need your help" collapsed on me

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] WHAT

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] WHAT

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] That's concerning.

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] JANUS YOU FUCKING DUMBASS

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] I KNEW I SHOULD'VE COME OVER YOU STUBBORN FUCK

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Now I know we're all worried

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] but

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] LANGUAGE

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Temporary unconsciousness is not as big of a deal as you all are making it out to be

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] ...I have to disagree strongly

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] where are you going im meeting you there

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] NO WAY you just freaked out over a text you stay right where you are panic at the medical drama

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Janus?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Hmm?

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] You just take it easy, okay? I know you don't like what's happening but lying to your friends about how you're feeling isn't going to help.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Roman, I assume you have been monitoring his temperature, what was the most recent reading?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] This is /TOTALLY/ hilarious. I /HIGHLY/ encourage you all to keep up whatever pity game this is.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] 103.8

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] JANUS

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] ROMAN WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TAKE HIM EARLIER

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Everyone, please calm down. You're giving me a headache.

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] The feeling is mutual.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Fever is an indicator of the body fighting infection. While yes, hinging on 104 is high, it is of no real concern unless it were to go beyond 105. However, fainting in mind, Roman is doing the best thing for the situation. This is not serious enough to prompt an ER trip, but being evaluated by a medical professional is now a necessity considering the onset, symptoms, and syncope episode. 

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Beautifully executed, may I go back to my couch now?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Nice try, but no, Princess Pale

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh gosh... When I'm done here at the shelter I'll bring over some chicken soup for you Janus!

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] That's not necessary

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] and theres no way you can keep me from making sure you don't kick the bucket before you. ill lend you my weighted blanket if you let me in willingly

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] So you're all breaking into my house then? /Lovely/. Invading my space is exactly what I want.

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Correction, all besides Logan. He seems to be the only semi-rational one in this debate

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] screw your lying ass pride im coming and you cant stop me 

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Are you all ignoring the fact that I'm taking care of him because I'm not busy and I have the strongest immune system? You all really want to risk yourselves just because you don't think I can do my job?

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Actually, I believe you've done everything just fine up to this point. Roman is once again right. It is probably best to leave him as the primary caretaker in this situation.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] YaY- anyways we'll have to continue this little squabble later. We're here, and Mr. High and Mighty hasn't noticed that the car has stopped and I've been standing over him for the past two minutes. A great sign to his optimal health if you ask me.

"What the... " Oh. He was indeed, standing right over him, smirking. The cold air was filtering in from outside, the embers of the warmth of the car seeping out. "You know, that's just cruel Roman. I thought you were supposed to be pitying me or something like that." Janus hissed, throwing the blanket that he'd been engulfed in back into the car. He was not about to hobble in there like a weakling. He had a reputation to uphold. This was already degrading enough for his taste. At least he was well enough now to remember that much.

Roman almost looked offended as he'd tossed the thing back in the car. "That's not what's happening here, trust me." The twin insisted, ducking headfirst back into the vehicle, and sliding the blanket back across the other's shoulders. "Keep this on, and," an arm wrapped around Janus's torso, "Lean on me. Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be. Remus is gonna stay out here and keep the car warm, and he doesn't like looking at needles."

Janus did recall that much. Man would probably caress a Morningstar, but cry getting a shot. There was of course, no shame in that, it was just an odd contradiction. The human mind was odd. Putting that aside, he was being half carried into a medical facility by his most despised of colleagues for no good reason. All he did was nod in response. He supposed there was something to this. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could be back home, hopefully to his solitude. 

How was it colder inside the place than out?! The two made their way to the waiting room, Janus being seated across the room as Roman spoke with the man at the counter. Then, he was greeted by paperwork. Shaky hands gripped the pen, scribbling down his information, checking a few boxes here and there, naming his insurance provider, all of the daunting enjoyment that came with seeing a Doctor. Meanwhile, Roman was on his phone, hunched over in his own seat, his eyes darting over every few seconds. At the very least, the twin could've tried to be discreet about keeping an eye on him.

Then, after what seemed like a good thirty minutes or so, his name was called. Roman didn't flinch, he only bit his lip as Janus had stood up. A part of him didn't want to go in alone. Clearly for reasons of merely having backup should any bullshit happen on the Doctor's side. He'd like to have a witness of his cause death in the aftermath court case. That was why he was- allowing it, this one time. "...Oh fine. You clearly want to come along, let's go then."

He looked surprised, but a hint of relief shone through his expression. No cocky insults were thrown, just another arm back around him. The stability was a precaution, but... appreciated, especially since he was sure there was more swinging in his step than walking. Then, after the usual height and weight measurements, they were back to waiting, in a smaller room this time. Janus had been propped up on a patient table, blanket and all. The Doctor had come back swiftly, and their dreaded conversation ensued.

-

One flu test later, and they were back to waiting. Regardless of what was going on, the Doctor had said he was very dehydrated, no matter how much he'd been drinking, so he was being hooked up to an IV for the time being. Overkill, surely, but Roman was insisting otherwise. Being honest, which happened very rarely, he was starting to feel a bit better now that he had the extra hydration. It wasn't terrible, that was all he'd admit. He felt a bit less like a dried prune, but he was still half-hacking his lungs out, which would stunt his burning throat, and overall make him feel just as bad anyways.

"I can't believe you were perfectly fine yesterday. Either that, or you're more of a lying little lowlife than I thought." Roman spoke, a bit harshly. "Seriously, you didn't just hide this from us yesterday, yeah? And then go out in the rain like an idiot?"

It was difficult to admit that he was very much blind to his own body. "I had no clue. Trust me." That was difficult to convey, too. 'Trust me,' even he wouldn't. Whatever. "And the rain thing is a myth. You don't catch ill from the weather. Just like how it doesn't matter how many vitamins you shove into your system, they really won't do anything to stop a virus."

Roman smirked, almost in a concerning, Remus-like fashion. "I never said that. But the nerd told me that cold weather and rain weakens the immune system. So you were already screwed, sure, but you might've been hit a little less hard if you didn't come in at all yesterday." The other stated, matter-of-factly. "So, this just sucks, because no one knew to not send you out there. Now we're in an Urgent Care and you're hooked up to an IV a day into this." 

"Hang on, are you putting this on yourself?" Janus asked, leaning towards the other, inspecting his mannerisms. "You do realize none of us could've done anything differently, correct? Or are you-" The twin looked despondent. Why did it bother him? There had to be more to this than Roman was admitting. He was taking a classic lying stance. But what could he be lying about? "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I don't want your death on my hands-"

"Bullshit." Janus spat, a bit too harshly for his rebelling throat. Clearing the hoarseness away once more, he wasn't even lying down anymore. No, he was sitting at the edge of the bed, hands folded together on his lap. If he wasn't so out of his normal routine- no pajamas, no wavy unkempt hair, and no indisposition, he might be terrifying. "You aren't acting like yourself anymore. You aren't the annoyance that barged into my house this morning- illegally might I add. Why are you frazzled? Why did you volunteer for this to begin with?"

"You fucking scared me. There, I said it." The other snapped back, fists forming in both of his hands. "I can't believe you fainted on me. I let you faint on me, I should've just taken you here in the first place or something." The room was weighed down by tension, or perhaps that was just Janus's traitor of a body mimicking the sensation. "And, for what it's worth, I don't... I don't hate you that much. You like Disney, I physically can't hate you." 

Janus had leaned back onto the bed only faintly smiling, uncharacteristically, as he responded with a soft hum. "I don't hate you either." The now seemingly dazed patient spoke, yawning. "No, I don't think so. But I hate what you're doing to me..." Then, he was falling asleep, soft smile and all. Bangs of his champagne toned hair rested gently on his closed eyes. He looked to be at such peace. Roman's mouth was practically resting on the floor.

What he was doing to him? "What the hell was that..." He mumbled to himself. Quiet enough to not disturb Janus, of course, he wouldn't dream of doing that. Now he was smiling. "You damn snake... what are you doing to ME? You know better than anyone that I'm a hopeless romantic..." Whispers, and soft fingers brushing away the strands of hair that had fallen onto the sleeping... associate? Friend? Sleeping... Beauty. 

The doctor had come back after a few minutes. Positive. Janus had somehow, even vaccinated, contracted Influenza Type A. Vaccines weren't perfect, Roman knew that, but he wished they were. The fact that he needed fluids this early... it was probably going to get worse. But Janus's fever had dropped to 102, that was one piece of good news. There was no telling what exactly was going to happen. Though, since the doctor was fairly confident admission to a hospital wasn't necessary, at least for now, Roman was swearing it to himself that he wasn't going to even leave the room without Janus in his arms. No. No matter how much he protested, he wasn't leaving. 

Janus was still asleep at the time when his treatment was over. So bridal carry back to car it'd have to be. The receptionist had offered a wheelchair, but Roman politely declined. He'd rather do this himself. The snow had stopped, a weight taken off the Prince-like male's shoulders. Blanket wrapping didn't stop snow melting into a frigid wet coating on the cloth, and Janus didn't need that again. Roman could see his brother laughing from the front seat. Joyous, he'd have to deal with that.

No. He wasn't going to sit up front. He was being a pillow today. Scooting both him and his sleeping patient in the back seat, he rested the other's head on his lap. Then, stretching far across once more, he shut the door. "He's out then? Spill, what'd the bitch do to himself? Virgin's gonna have a stroke if he has to wait longer." The obviously nosy voice from his brother said, turning his body to the back seat. His chaotic demeanor fell when he saw how Janus was out. "...He really did a number on himself then. Jan never sleeps through this kind of stuff and would never willingly let you bridal carry him. He wouldn't even let /me/ bridal carry him and I'm his bestie."

Roman frowned, "I know, it's like he doesn't want a handsome prince to carry him everywhere like the other 99% of the population." Without hesitation, he was re-wrapping the blankets around the sleeping figure, sighing. "The flu. Meaning we're gonna take him home. But I can't leave him alone. Even... even if he doesn't want me to take care of him, someone does. So until he's up and can pick someone else-"

"Like he's gonna get anyone better. Delirious prick." Remus hissed, turning back towards the front and grabbing the wheel of the car. "We both know he'd actually die if any of the 'family' bitches came to 'help'. They'd all panic or argue or some shit- and I don't know how to do this care stuff so he'd double die. I don't think he's ready to take his place in double hell yet." The car started moving, and the duo both snickered. Yeah, that was appropriate. "So when are you gonna stop pining over him and ask him out? It's been like six months." 

"I-! You-! Shut up!" Roman whisper-shouted, covering his face. "This is not the time for that, and also, we haven't even established if we're friends yet. Can we please be more concerned about his health right now than my sad, single life?" 

"No. Never. Hey, tell the group chat what's up. I'd do it if texting and driving wasn't a 'felony'."

Well, at least he wasn't being a total ass today. Whipping his phone out of his pocket, he started typing, one-handed. Why? Well...

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮 sent an image]

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] OMG IS THAT JANUS NUZZLED IN YOUR HAND?! :D

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] what did you do to him princey

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] He did this himself. Fell asleep before he finished his IV and got his test results.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] IV and what kind of test?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Rapid flu test. Positive. Type A for ayyy look at this sleeping snake.

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] shit he's gonna be out for the whole week 

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] NOOO :( POOR JANUS

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Roman, the office is going to be out of commission for a while. We don't know how long, but the damages are being repaired. Until then, we're all officially off work. Do you need help?

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] THIS PRINCE does not need help. However, I'm not sure Lying-In-Bed enjoys my company. I'm taking him home and staying with him until he wakes up. Then HE can decide who to be stuck with officially.

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] fuck that im already on my way

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] VIRGIL NO YOU WILL FREAK OUT

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] i dont care

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] STAY HOME OR I'LL SICK MY BROTHER ON YOU

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] YOU WOULDNT DARE

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] TRY ME

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Compromise?

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] We ALL go and see Janus for a movie night and then leave afterward?

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] ...padre

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] That defeats the whole purpose here Patton.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] It does

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] pause for dramatic effect

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] UNLESS

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] No actually I have nothing anyone got an idea?

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I'm sure Janus would much rather appreciate we don't bother him during recovery anyways. I am aware all of you are concerned, however, Janus's privacy comes first. He is technically correct in saying that Roman is invading his space, though that is refuted by necessity's sake. It would become null and void if we all showed up on his doorstep. He very clearly expressed he doesn't want us involved in this.

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Can't believe I'm agreeing with the nerd, but he'd be very not glittery if you all came to dote on him without his approval. I don't even think he wants Remus to come inside with us so I'm keeping him in the car.

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] remus said youve been bridal carrying him lol

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] I HAVE INDEED

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] HE IS THE PERFECT SIZE FOR CARRYING

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Awwww

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] but he is GOING to kill us all when he reads the chat over 

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] As if he could fight anyone like this. Don't worry your little emo mind about it. 

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Right then, just so I have visible proof of this, we're all agreeing we aren't going over to bother Janus unless he explicitly gives permission- and in doing so, we take responsibility for any health risks associated?

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Yep! :)

[₳₦Ӿł_₮Ɇ₳] fine

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] And I also agree

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟. took a screenshot of the chat] 

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] contract lol

[𝙋𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙄𝙣𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙒𝙖𝙮] Good! We're back at the house now anyway so I'm gonna DIIIIP~

-

It was dark in the room. Janus had woken up some time ago, but all he could do was stare, occasionally glancing around to look at the room. It was his room, in his bed- and what a nice room he had. Something kind of weight was crushing against his chest. Not the blankets, they were welcome, even if they were pulled up practically to his neck. But there was nothing else there. Well, besides a pang of dreaded guilt that was only growing ever since the morning. What... What time was it?

A hand, on his cheek. Everything that was once relaxed tensed, and he shot upwards, holding out his hands defensively. "Woah, Woah! Okay..! Moving away now." Roman, seemingly just as startled himself, expressed, stepping about five paces away from the edge of the bed. He set the glass of water he'd been carrying on the nightstand with his clock on it. 10:23 PM, at least he had his question answered. "What was that about? Are you okay?"

"Where did you COME from?! I didn't- didn't hear you come in. " Janus brought his hands down, easing up a bit, though clearly still troubled by the scare. Exhaling his now built up strain, his shoulders dropped, a bit painfully. "I'm fine..." Hold on, was that-? "Why is Remus standing in the doorway like a cryptid?" He questioned, both of his eyebrows raising in a certain indication of being more bemused than irritated. "When did we get home anyway?"

Remus, assuming his acknowledgment as an invitation into the room, hopped to the other side of his bed. It was hard to choose between associating the sight with a bunny or a feral child. "Hi Jan-Jan! You ask a lot of questions! When did you become nerdy wolverine?" He smiled, widely- a toothy grin was his trademark. "We got here a few hours ago. You conked-out getting your IV."

Well, that was the least surprising thing he'd experienced today. God, he felt awful. Had he thought about that enough? How awful things were? It was really starting to get on his nerves. "Joy, was it a waste of time like I had anticipated?" The male smirked, folding his arms in a sort of cocky stance. There was no way it was anything too terrible if he was here at home. A cold- an unpleasant one, but one nonetheless. Fever, fainting, it was all just a bad reaction, and he'd be fine by tomorrow. A relief no doubt, considering Janus didn't think he'd survive another day of being doted on like a child...

Roman shifting unusually lackluster-like had averted his eyes, like he was nervous, or perhaps upset. "Nice try, snake. It's the flu. Meaning as long as I have any say in it, you're not being left alone for the next week. So sorry to say that your home has to be invaded for the considerable future." He mumbled, a gently clenched hand over his mouth. "You..." Suddenly, he pointed, his finger resting on Janus's forehead. Roman's other hand was resting on his hip, and a certain, unreadable expression of sternness was on his face."I'm taking care of you. So don't even think about trying to fight it now. You're gonna sit in this bed and stay here until you aren't a zombie. Got that?"

What was he yapping about? Wait, the flu? The next week? Him? Too much information was being packed into his already aching head. How? How did he get the flu? He didn't go anywhere other than work most of the time. Unless- the tea shop, three days ago. Someone sounded like death there, but he didn't care enough to pin it to one person at the time. God, everyone in the tea shop was probably out of commission- unless his immune system just decided to fail him and only him for whatever reason. He wanted to argue. He wanted to just be left alone in his crushing embarrassment and other kinds of sick misery. But Roman was as stubborn as he, and he was curling up and hacking again. It was always so sudden, he was always afraid of forgetting how to breathe. In a bit of a shivery, pale, coughing mess, he nodded, laying defeatedly back on his bed, for now. He'd deal with this later. But even laying down hurt in its own way, and that wasn't giving Janus much hope of being alone.

Perhaps it wasn't so bad that his hand was being held.

Remus whistled, twirling his way out of the room, "Well, this is gay you two. I'd rather catch the plague than your pining bullshit. I'm leaving now." He snickered, bowing ungracefully, as he left before the pair had any chance of denying his teasings. Instead, they just stared at each other, a warm, uninvited pinkish flush now hugging both of their cheeks. The only difference between them was that Roman's had faded in a few seconds, whereas still had that one, feverish hint of color on his face. 

"Yeeeah um, I'm gonna move you to the kitchen now because you haven't eaten at all today. Being fair, neither have I." Roman changed the subject, scratching the side of his cheek. "And that, sir, is a big no-no for you right now. You need to put something in you to get better. I had planned on giving you a fruit salad earlier because it's something easy, but there's no way that's gonna be enough now. Soup?"

Janus hissed, which, honestly, caused both of them to laugh. Just for a moment. It was nice. "No. No fucking way, Your Highness. No one in their right mind drinks chicken water. We're getting takeout- give me my wallet." Janus spoke, pointing to his desk. "Americanized Fake Chinese Food? Or are we splurging for some kind of restaurant delivery?"

Roman got the wallet- just a simple white leather thing, and kept it to himself. "Well, I'm glad you're doing well enough to still have an opinion on food. But how about I order the food and you," He stopped, taking the blankets that had fallen farther down and pulling them back over the other's chest, "just relax. Chinese is fine. Place by the bank has great sweet and sour chicken I've heard. That's your favorite, yeah?"

Huh, how did he know that? 

-

Admittedly, he wasn't... hating this. This meaning company, of course. The illness was still just terrible in so many ways. But Roman was less of an affliction when comparing the two. Or perhaps he was just being swayed by the fact that even though he didn't want to eat, he had something good in his mouth, and the twin wasn't forcing him to drink liquid chicken grease. A lovely way of wording it, courtesy of Remus for that mental picture. Still, it was nagging, knowing he was being pitied. In a perfect world, he wouldn't need anyone. But here he was, now back in the living room, watching Frozen Fever. Yes, the Disney short no one asked for. There was /no way/ this was an intentional move by a certain Prince and /certainly/ not some kind of backward message. But strangely, he didn't mind all that much, which, in turn, caused him to hate this even more.

Roman seemed to pick up on the other's sudden contentedness. "Would you like your own seven-minute disney special on our journey today, Elsa reject?" He joked, trying hard to contain just how funny he thought he was. But he burst anyway, rolling over on the couch like a giggly child. Then, after catching his own breath, and seeing a now amused yet annoyed Janus raising an eyebrow at him. "Sorry sorry. I haaaad to. I was HOPING you were gonna laugh again. You're always so stone-faced dude."

It wasn't a laugh, but a smug smile lifted the corners of the 'stone-faced' Janus. "Well, I'm so /sorry/ we aren't in that cartoon Roman. It seems you forgot that not everyone has the skill to be completely over-animated all the time." He jested, folding his hands and taking the 'villain' stance in this real-world show. "You /do/ have to teach me one day in your craft, I'm sure it'll be helpful one day when the world becomes a movie musical like the ones you fantasize about at night~"

Okay, he enjoyed being a little evil sometimes.

While distracted by his own internal victories, something smacked against his face- forceful enough to make a sort of pillow-like thud. Sure enough, he'd been hit with a pillow. "What the hell!? You-" Janus started, picking up the pillow, glaring at Roman with an open smile on his face, fully preparing to deck him right back. But Roman sat there, looking at something else. It wasn't him..? No, someone else was here. A dark hoodie, dark jeans, dark eyes, a dark look in said eyes. Only one person in the world ever wore that much black. "Virg-"

Virgil walked towards the couch, quickly, crouching down. A cold hand was slapped against his forehead. He wasn't the gentle type. "I can't even fucking believe you. Why aren't you in bed?" He asked, still scowling. "And you!" A finger shot to Roman. "Why aren't you forcing him to be resting? He could be dying or some shit and here I find you two goofing off in here! Eating Chinese!" He only kept yelling. Yelling and yelling, the sound throbbing through Janus's head. 

"FIRST OF ALL, Mister Wet Sock, he's been sleeping a lot of the day, he's gotta be alive at some point. SECONDLY, if he were dying, he'd be at the hospital right now. Clearly, he's still alive." Roman stood up, rolling his eyes. "THIRD! Why are you here!? I thought we AGREED to let me handle this." The Prince-like twin argued, both of his hands on his hips. "Not that we don't want you here, but that's exactly what's happening. Isn't my brother supposed to be babysitting you?"

The My Chemical Romance reject, as Roman would put it, crossed his arms. "Before you get on your high horses, I'm not staying. You weren't answering the door, TV's fucking loud, so Remus showed me where the spare key is. I came to drop off your stupid PJs. Remus told me if I'm longer than five minutes he's going to curse my bloodline or something." He spat, then hurling the now unfolded clothes at a now laughing Roman. While he seemed preoccupied in whatever humor came from that, Virgil got a better feel of Janus's temperature. "It's high again. Really, Jan, are you good? Been resting? Because I'll gladly knock him out and take you for help if you need."

Janus was oddly conflicted. On one hand, that was fucking funny. On the other, really, what was he doing here? As much as everyone was sometimes overly cautious, to the point of being rude even, with Virgil's anxiety, this situation would be stressful for him if he wanted to suddenly be doting. Then he'd convince himself to be dying if he got sick. Now he had SEEN that before, he'd played caregiver for two certain idiots named Remus and Virgil before back in college and it was NOT a good situation. Then again, they kinda deserved it for daring eachother to lick the doorknob of a public bathroom stall... But that was beside the point here. 

"Virgil, I'm fine. I promise." He insisted, giving a certain, soft smile. God, this plague was doing something to him. Smiling, what an awful concept. "But you shouldn't be here. You literally have one minute now to get back to Remus before he curses your-"

Yep, that worked. He was already almost tripping over the coffee table trying to leave. "SHIT OKAY I SEE THAT. UH, BYE. ROMAN DON'T LET HIM BE A DUMBASS!" The other yelled, flinging the door open. He left, but not before poking his head back through the door one last time. "And don't force him into Disney burn out or something, Princey." 

"DISNEY BURN OUT DOESN'T EXIST JACK SMELLINGTON!!!" Roman retaliated, loudly, pointing offendedly towards the door. "Jeez! The nerve! No one in their right mind can get tired of Disney." He boasted, only just before noticing a yawn from Janus. Honestly, he was tired himself. It was a long day. "...But you can get tired in general. Maybe time to stop the marathon for the night? It is late, even if you did sleep a lot."

Janus only hummed at first. "Not actually tired, that's what I'm currently hating. But you should get some rest this time. I have an air mattress you can use in my closet. Or, you know, you could go home."

"Not a chance~ and I'll just sleep on this couch. It's actually more comfortable than my bed. Remus somehow fucked up the frame and now it's like sleeping on a pile of rocks. I wonder if he actually put rocks in." The prince-like twin joked, stretching a bit. "Besides, I'm not sleeping until you are. You know, just in case."

"Yeah? That's /definitely/ going to work out for you. Have fun trying not to nod off."

"I WON'T!"

-

He did.

Roman didn't last long. Maybe an hour at most, and he was practically drooling over the side of the couch. Well, at least he was getting some rest. At the moment, he was starting to feel frigid again, and god was his throat starting to burn. He could really go for some tea right now. Roman wouldn't kill him if he went to do that, right? Dehydration was worse in the long run. He stood up slowly, just in case. At first intending on leaving his blanket behind, the way his body protested made him rethink said decision. Luckily he had those tall bar stools in his kitchen, so he could sit and wait for the drink.

As the water boiled, an elbow rested on the counter, holding up his head. Had he mentioned everything hurt enough yet? This was quite literally torture. No matter how much he wanted to dismiss this, he really did need... someone. If only he wasn't so weak. So useless. He should be able to handle this on his own. But he was barely able to make it over here- and oh their concern. It stung. He didn't need them. He shouldn't need them. Janus shouldn't want him. It had to be Roman. Eight months of trying to avoid these feelings of his, and Roman had to be the one sent here. To see him like this. 

Then again, he could've retreated to Virgil. But Virgil didn't deserve his burden self either. No one should have to. Not after the way he's so desperately tried to distance himself from their little group. It's not like he wanted to go on all their adventures and picnics, their days at the park or out to dinner. He just wanted to be left to his own devices. He most of all did not want to go see Roman's show next month. Oh the water was boiling now...

He poured the water, then grabbing a tea bag and steeping it in. He hadn't been paying attention. He kept his hands around the cup, the warmth felt nice. If only there was a heating pack for the entire body. Then again, he probably didn't need his body temperature any higher than it already was. A thought came to mind: he probably check himself this time, considering Roman was asleep and he wasn't as interested in fighting the facts anymore. The sooner he could get out of the fever range, he could probably convince Logan to side with him and get the very emotionally infuriating twin out of his residency. 

His phone vibrated.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Janus? You're online this late? Everything alright?

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] It is rather late to be awake- for you as well Patton. Why are you awake?

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] There was a noise that scared me >_<

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] It was just the house settling though!

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] That is a relief. I'm just finishing up some data calculations for the night. Janus?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Apologies, I was distracted. Simply cannot sleep.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh no! I'm sorry kiddo. You must feel pretty icky still, huh?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Nothing I cannot manage on my own.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I beg to differ, else I would not have even let Roman come over. Speaking of, I assume he's asleep?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Yes.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] That's good. Virgil had said he looked like he was intending on staying up the whole night if he had to. For once, I was able to convince him to bed earlier than normal. I'm certain he'll call us all hypocrites in the morning for this.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] But Virgil does this all the time! We don't! Virgil needs sleep! Besides, we can sleep in now :D

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] Indeed. Janus, I'm sure this has become monotonous by now, but how are you feeling?

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Definitely /not/ like shit.

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I figured as much. Well, you should start to feel a bit better on day four or so. It, for now, is a waiting game. I've had the flu as an adolescent, though if I remember correctly, I contracted Type B. 

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] And I wonder why, you were extremely stressed over getting a B in English +_+

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] If the flu was the result of the debate I had with our teacher, I got my A, therefore making it worth it.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] NO IT WASN'T AND YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS HE IS!

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] I take it you two knew each other in high school then?

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Yup! I told embarrassing stories about Logan when we went to the amusement park!

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] An event he did not attend, Patton.

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Oh that's right! Sorry I'm a goofball! You should come out with us sometime when you're feeling better. 

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Janus?

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Did he fall asleep?

[𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟.] I'd assume so. It's probably time for us to do the same. 

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] I'm still here, sorry. 

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Jee! You've apologized a lot today! You never apologize Jan. Is everything really okay? :(

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘] Of course. I am suddenly tired, however, so I'm turning in for the night. 

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ SmileBerrySunshine3000 ♥] Goodnight! We'll try not to bother you too much tomorrow <3

Put down the phone. Don't let them see you like this anymore. You should've known better than to even let them answer. Stumbling back to the couch, he let his body sink. Feigned concern. He knew what they thought of him. An evil liar, just someone to keep around because they didn't want to exclude anyone, or at least openly exclude him. Golden, hazy eyes were harshly shut as he waited in silence for the morning to come. He had to get better because truthfully, his heart was fragile. It wouldn't be able to take much more of this. Even Virgil and Remus didn't really like him, did they? They just stuck around because they needed someone to cut through their bullshit and keep them alive. He was just the liar, who could teach self-preservation. He was Deceit.

**And Deceit only tore people apart.**

𝙴𝚡𝚒𝚝 ⌫ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies, Lords, and Non-Binary RoyalTae- I see you've all been taking particular interest in this story. To the point of me even getting asked by several people when the next part is coming out.
> 
> Honestly, I'm flattered. I'm so glad so many of you enjoy this accidental series. I can't help but feel a little bit guilty that updates are always slow 😅 But I do update as life and disability allows me to. As usual, I will try to get the next part out ASAP, but no promises. 
> 
> For those of you who enjoy Remile as well as medical themes or even just plain hurt/comfort, I highly recommend looking into my similar story, Half of My Heartbeat. While this story will be on acute illness, Half of My Heartbeat is going to be a series about chronic illness and the impacts of disability. This is what's going to be updated next, but never fear, another update of When Lies Become Ill-Spoken is coming! (Most likely the climax chapter! I anticipate 4-5 chapters overall for this series :D ) 
> 
> I once again have to thank the people who read this, and your patience between updates. Love you all! ✨💛


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